


Man! I Feel Like A Woman

by ArielSakura



Series: Exasperated Harry One Shots [9]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crossdressing, F/M, Girls' Night Out, Polyjuice Potion, Poor Harry, Songfic, boy's night out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 17:56:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13253568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielSakura/pseuds/ArielSakura
Summary: Harry forgot about the agreement they had made with Draco and now he was considering never agreeing to anything ever again.





	Man! I Feel Like A Woman

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song 'Man! I Feel Like A Woman' by Shania Twain
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

Harry didn’t know how he let himself get roped into these ideas, he really didn’t. But there he was standing in his lounge room, with Ron, Fred & George, Lee, Neville, Blaise Zabini and Theodore Nott, holding a dress and heels. The others were all holding similar garb. Harry was starting to feel a little nervous, he had agreed to this a few months ago, (after half a bottle of whiskey) and at the time thought it would have been quite funny. He’d also thought it would never happen, but he really should know Draco better by now.

Speaking of the blonde prat, he had just come flouncing into the lounge wearing a white halter dress that fell to his knees and strappy white heels. He was carrying a tray of hip flasks that Harry knew were filled with a certain potion. “Here we are gents! How come none of you are dressed yet? Come on, we don’t have all night! There’s only enough here for four hours each!”

He started handing the potions and a hair to each of them, Harry took his and dropped the hair in, looking around dubiously at everybody else. Fred & George were very enthusiastic and Lee was grinning like a loon. Neville and Ron were sharing an apprehensive look , Blaise winked at Harry when he caught his eye and Theo looked like he hadn’t realised what Draco was getting him into. “Right then, ladies! Bottoms up!” Draco cried.

Harry wondered when his life had gotten so mad and then realised it was around the time he’d decided to let his cousin move in with him. He thought he might be starting to regret that decision.

 

* * *

 

Harry was standing at the bar drinking his fourth fruity drink of the night, Draco had insisted that they had to ‘act the part’ and wouldn’t let anyone order a scotch or beer. He had an uncanny knack for sensing just the right moment when someone was about to break one of his ‘rules’ for the night and would swoop in with some weird name which would summon some unholy looking concoction usually stuffed with fruit or cream. Harry took another sip of the latest pineapple mess as he listened to the song that was playing. It was by a woman with a distinct twang to her voice. Harry took in the lyrics for a moment and thought the song was rather apt. Scanning the crowd he could make out Draco, Blaise and the twins dancing wildly with each other, trying their best to include Neville in their frivolity. Skirts flared around their legs as they twirled exuberantly, they had attracted rather a lot of male attention and Draco was currently grinding on one man whilst wearing a wicked grin. Theo was stood next to Harry while Ron and Lee discussed work a little further down. Theo had started to lose the shocked and uncomfortable look he had been wearing since he took his first sip of polyjuice. “I really don’t know how he does it,” the straw-haired Slytherin said. Harry raised an eyebrow at him. “Get us to go along with all these crazy idea’s of his. It’s always been like this. Ever since first year when he got us all to charm the seventh years undergarments into Gryffindor colours for a week. We were this close to getting caught.” He said holding his thumb and index finger very close together.

Harry snorted into his drink, “I know what you mean, it’s never boring around him is it? You must have heard about all the shit he’s been dragging me into.”

“I have, he was also bragging about how he is a brilliant matchmaker and how he introduced you to some nice girl in the states.”

Harry smiled and shook his head, “if by ‘introduced us’ you mean, ‘nearly got himself staked through the heart’ then yes. Draco was responsible for getting us together.”

“Do tell, Potter,” Theo said with a grin.

“We were wandering a cemetery looking for Black family graves, when Draco screamed the most girlish scream you could ever imagine. I apparated to his side to see him pressed against a mausoleum and the Slayer with a stake buried in the marble.”

“You met the Slayer?” Theo breathed. Harry nodded with a grin as he sipped his drink again and licking errant cream of his lip, “you’re _dating_ the _SLAYER?!”_ Theo exclaimed quickly putting two and two together. Harry nodded again, “some guys have all the luck,” Theo grumbled and Harry laughed. 

 

* * *

 

A few hours later, they all came stumbling back into Grimmauld Place laughing and singing at the top of their lungs. Their clothes ill-fitting now that the polyjuice had run out. Ron’s mini skirt had ridden impossibly higher and everyone kept getting glimpses of what was only supposed to be seen by Hermione, through the lace panties Draco had given him. Blaise’s halter top had sagged so much that his lightly haired chest and dark nipples were permanently exposed. Theo’s backless dress had slid down his bum now that he no longer had perky globes to hold it up and the g-string Draco had forced on him was clearly visible. Neville’s tailored shirt had come untucked from the tight gold, patent leather pants he was wearing and he was hopping dangerously on one heel as he tugged on the other. The twins were wearing tight dresses that only got tighter as their broad frames came through and Lee was still quite comfortable in his small jumpsuit though it was a little fuller in the shorts than it had been earlier in the evening. Harry’s strapless dress kept falling down and he had to dedicate one hand to holding it up. Draco of course still looked spectacular. The body he had stolen a hair from not very dissimilar to his own. The white dress was still immaculate and the glitter he had thrown over himself distracted you from his now more masculine hair and face.

Harry flopped down into an armchair and the others followed suit, Kreacher immediately serving them all with a cup of tea and hangover preventative potions. “So,” said Draco brightly after a moment, “same time next month?”

There were a few groans and Ron threw his high heels at Draco but none of them could deny that they hadn’t had fun and that they weren’t recognised. Harry both looked forward and dreaded the conversation he would be having with Buffy about the night. He knew that she would laugh herself silly about the antics of his friends, but she would tease him mercilessly about his own get-up.

Especially once she saw the pictures that Draco happened to send by post owl the next morning.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, if you have a crossover you want to see or a muggle saying you would like acted upon. Just let me know! :D


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